This Holiday has always been the hardest holiday for me in my year struggling with infertility. I would dread every single Happy Mother's Day that wouldn't come. I suffered for what felt like an eternity as a "silent mother" after my first miscarriage... and felt like no one would have understood even if I tried to explain. I was a mother.
There are many different definitions of a mother... and I want to take the opportunity to say Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful friends. This day will be very hard for some of you. I understand. I know the pain that comes from longing to hold that baby in your arms... To pray and hope so hard and feel like it gets you nothing... to have that renewed sense of hope every month, only to have to hope ripped away at the end of the month.
Some are mother's to babies that are only in heaven. I understand. I have four babies who wait for me in heaven. Today will be hard for you too. I cried every year my dh brought flowers home for me to celebrate me as a mother... even though I had been unable to bless him with a child... even though the babies we had were not in our arms.
There are women who are raising their wonderful child/ren. Whether this be from your first month off the pill or after years of infertility.. or after going through the adoption process... or fostering. Whatever way you were blessed with your children, they are in your arms.
Happy Mother's day to you all. This is my first Mother's Day that I have been THIS pregnant. This is the first Mother's Day that I am not celebrating my babies who are waiting for me, but am celebrating the baby I am waiting for. I still celebrate the first baby that made me a mother... I celebrate the babies lost during my fertility treatments... I celebrate Baby B. Because these babies make me a mother too. My baby girl is such a wonderful blessing. And I cherish every time I feel her move. I celebrate her.
And I celebrate all of my dear friends who are mothers... whether they are only mothers in their hearts, or otherwise. Happy Mother's Day.
(Here is an article I saw... I just wanted to share...)
The wide spectrum of mothering
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year–we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food
stains–we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we
mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and
disappointment-we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t
mean to make this harder than it is
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms–we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children–we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children–we sit
with you
To those who lost their mothers this year–we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother–we acknowledge your
experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of
motherhood–we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children-we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children-we mourn
that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent-we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be-we
grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year–we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption–we commend you for your selflessness and
remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising–we anticipate
with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have
real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
By Amy Young (http://messymiddle.com)
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