In His Opinion - A word from my husband

This post is going to be a little different than the last 2.

Well, it's Sunday again! The last week has been tough and tomorrow I get to learn how to stab my wife with needles every day. Calm down, just giving her shots for the crazy hormone medicine she starts taking. No seriously it is a good but new and scary thing in my life. Tomorrow is the point of no return. We pay and then wait to start the process.

Anna asked me today if her overly positive attitude toward this was bothering me... The thing is, she is positive usually all the time and particularly when I'm not. It is sometimes hard to get on board with but never bothering. It makes my heart smile! However today, my mind couldn't help but go to that place where television takes us on a daily basis with all of the reality shows about teen moms, high school parents, etc., etc., etc.  The thought of those people who don't need kids and/or don't want kids all topped off with the fact that we are paying for so many people's kids with our tax money and yet we still have to finance our POSSIBILITY of children. Yes I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it catches up to me and reminds me that we are where we are. Dwelling on this will never make it better or even change it. We have a peace about this and there is a purpose regardless of the outcome.

Now that my rant is over, I will focus more on the issue at hand. Yes I hear the stories about women who go nuts while they are on these medicines for various reasons and it does make me nervous. I do understand why this happens and that throughout pregnancy it continues. Well if all goes well I will see this through somehow. It will work out I'm sure and hopefully get my wife back when it's all over.

I am excited about what we are doing! I am happy that we have this opportunity and that God uses this process and the doctors hands to create life. Anna and I talked about the new Abortion/IVF laws they are proposing and boy does that discussion get deep quick. When you hear/read about this one be sure you are ready to think it all through because it's not an easy one. It really depends on your view of when life actually begins. That's enough about that. You need to read and decide for yourself. It really is like a lot of bills where they slide in what they want while you are focused on one topic depending on what your political status is.

Today at church we sang these lyrics....

 The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name


Regardless of what happens my life belongs to Him. God says that he will lead us beside the still waters and let us lay in the green grass and give us rest. It can be hard to see sometimes but these areas usually aren't at the top of the mountain. They are usually in the valleys or at the bottom of the mountain. Find God's peace in the middle of your uncertainty, trials, fears, and struggles. Life is short and we have to find happiness and our place in God's plan for us as hard as that may be to let go sometimes. So if infertility is yours or one of your trials, God has a plan and a purpose for this. I need that reminder everytime I turn on the tv or when people ask why we don't have any kids and do we even want them. We had a miscarriage about 3-4 months prior to my dad passing and someone said to us while we were at my mom's house the day after he died... "it sure would have been nice if you would have had some grand kids for Bill." It took every ounce of my being to refrain from saying things that would have shocked everyone in the room. However, the option of snapping out of it and keeping my composure was the more adult thing to do. So, find rest in the valleys and when things are not at their best. Listen for still small voice that calls us when we are low and the loud voice when we are out of line.

Tomorrow I guess our journey technically starts and so my stress level continues to grow...

BTW Superman is an inside joke between Anna and I
Only mere mortals here!

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Anna here.... if you have any questions for Bryan for my Q&A post, please email me or leave a comment. B is happy to answer any questions... and if he isn't... I should be "crazy lady" by then, so he won't have a choice!!! :P